5 Ways People Are Trying to Save the World (That Don’t Work)

#2. Using Antibacterial Soap
Why People Do It:

Bacteria make us sick. The only way for us (and our precious children) to stay healthy is to kill the fuckers. Referring to the bacteria there, not the precious children.
These days you can get antibacterial anything: hand soap, dish soap, hand lotion, edible panties, gun oil. We’ll have those bacteria eradicated in no time!

Why They Shouldn’t:

Nature is a funny thing. Not “knock-knock joke” funny, but “horrifying death preceded by agonizing suffering” funny. The thing about biology is that while it is really easy to kill a lot of something, it’s a lot harder to kill all of something. And the survivors tend to be a lot tougher and pissed off.

Thus, there is concern that the stronger bacteria will become resistant as the weaker bacteria are killed off by our shelves of antibacterial products, leaving only the resistant ones behind. Darwinism works its magic.
This has already happened with the staphylococcus bacteria, which have developed strains that laugh at penicillin like Superman laughs at bullets, except Superman won’t cause you to develop pus-filled boils and kill you afterward.

If the idea of super germs isn’t scary enough, it turns out the same chemicals we’re using to try and kill those germs may actually be making us sick as well. The active ingredient in antibacterial soap is now thought to have the potential to affect sex hormones and the nervous system both. In fact, the chemicals causing the concern have been found in the urine of 75 percent of people, which means the poison is probably in your wiener right now.
If all this still isn’t ironic enough for you, then consider that getting rid of all those bacteria may actually be worse for us in the long run. Scientists believe that kids who are kept in sterile environments develop more allergies. The theory is that these kids are not exposed to the germs and their immune systems never develop the natural resistance to them. Basically it means our immune systems are playing Dungeons & Dragons instead of pumping iron and taking Karate and banging hot chicks.

The final nail in this comedy of errors and mixed metaphors is that studies found that using antibacterial soap is no better than using regular soap. Just one more marketing gimmick.

The rest of the list can be found on cracked.com

7 thoughts on “5 Ways People Are Trying to Save the World (That Don’t Work)

  1. Saying “Why they shouldn’t” is incorrect. Something along the lines of “Why its not as effective as they think” would be more appropriate. I don’t like this article, I realize there’s facts in there, but there’s plenty of facts to support a good bit of this.

    The #1 post and the antibacterial soap are the only ones that make a lot of sense to me.

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