Cover up your minor cuts and scratches with an extravagant display of fake wealth! Each 3-3/4″ tall metal pocket tin contains fifteen 3″ x 1″ latex-free adhesive bandages with sterile gauze and a FREE PRIZE to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no time.
— Bling Bandages – give your wounds some class, dog - The Red Ferret Journal

Aw shit.