Egypt Orders Slaughter Of All Pigs Over Swine Flu

CAIRO (AP) — Egypt began slaughtering the roughly 300,000 pigs in the country Wednesday as a precaution against swine flu even though no cases have been reported here, infuriating farmers who blocked streets and stoned vehicles of Health Ministry workers who came to carry out the government\’s order.
The measure was a stark expression of the panic the deadly outbreak is spreading around the world, especially in poor countries with weak public health systems. Egypt responded similarly a few years ago to an outbreak of bird flu, which is endemic to the country and has killed two dozen people.
At one large pig farming center just north of Cairo, scores of angry farmers blocked the street to prevent Health Ministry workers in trucks and bulldozers from coming in to slaughter the animals. Some pelted the vehicles with rocks and shattered their windshields and the workers left without killing any pigs.
“We remind Hosni Mubarak that we are all Egyptians. Where does he want us to go?” said Gergis Faris, a 46-year-old pig farmer in another part of Cairo who collects garbage to feed his animals. “We are uneducated people, just living day by day and trying to make a living, and now if our pigs are taken from us without compensation, how are we supposed to live?”

“It is unfortunate,” the U.N. Food and Agriculture Organization Chief Veterinary Officer Joseph Domenech said of Egypt’s decision. “The crisis today is in transmission from human to human. It has nothing to do with pigs,” he told The Associated Press.

Associated Press

WTF!

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3 thoughts on “Egypt Orders Slaughter Of All Pigs Over Swine Flu

  1. Swine flu is the latest disease to be wiping out the whole of humanity, just like the bird flu was doing from 2004 to 2008, just like SARS did in 2003, and just like swine flu 1.0 did in the 1970s.

    As of late April 2009, swine flu has killed at least 100 and infected over 9000 Mexicans. The disease coincidentally broke out after Mulatto Jesus visited our neighbors in the south to reassure his Mexican counterpart Felipe Calderon that the US was intent on eliminating violent drug cartels waging turf wars on each other and victimizing innocent beaners with American-made tools of liberation.

    Yes, President Barack Obama is the initial vector; pumped full of Tamiflu, he’s turned himself into a weapons-grade walking biological weapon to slow beaners down as they reclaim Aztlan from the USA, distracting US citizens from his own plans to just give the place away. Obama’s host and tour guide keeled over and died just after he’d visited a local museum.

    Some jerks that helped make the economic mess and currently control NYC claim that all of North America is fucked, because Canada and Columbia are already infected. GG Mexican pigs.

    Oh noes! There is a Mexican toddler who died in the USA after being flown to a hospital here!!!

    DO YOU HAVE PIG FLU?

    click one of these:

    doihaveswineflu.org/

    doihavepigflu.com/

    Don’t laugh. It’s very likely that you’ve already contracted it and will be dead within a week.

    * Headaches
    * Chills
    * Fever
    * Cough/sore throat
    * Joint and muscle pain
    * Lack of appetite
    * High blood pressure or low blood pressure
    * Fatigue
    * Seizures (rarely)
    * Abdominal pain, gas and diarrhea
    * Acne
    * Reanimation. Yes, like zombies

    Of course all of these, apart from coming back as a zombie and attacking your relatives, are just symptoms of regular flu. Once you start craving truffles and snorting like a pig, you’re done for.

    Progress of the Illness

    Swine flu is known to have four stages (five if you count the post-mortem zombie stage) of illness.

    Stage one has no discerbable symptoms, although the victim is walking death. Blood pressure shows unusual variations, and “wagon wheel” incubator cells are present in the sputum. The flu is detectable through blood samples, and if it’s treated at this stage, there is a 98% survival rate.

    Stage two resembles the common cold, with mild symptoms such as nasal discharge, sneezing and coughing. A low-grade fever may be present. Many in this stage do not limit their activities; they continue to shop, travel, or work, freely spreading the flu. If you see a doctor during this stage, your chance of survival is 50%. If you see anyone showing these symptoms, be sure to exercise your second amendment rights before the filthy swine has a chance to infect you or others.

    Stage three at the start may resemble asthma, bronchitis, influenza, or mononucleosis. The cold-like symptoms of stage two become more severe. The victim develops chills, high fever, swollen lymph glands, dizziness, weakness, and painful urination. Most infected in this stage go to bed or try to see a doctor. Late in this stage, the illness becomes more like pneumonia; a few show delirium, screaming “OH MY GOD, WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE, OH WRYYYYY!!1!” just before entering the fourth and terminal stage. Chances of survival are around 22% if it’s treated.

    Stage four resembles pneumonia, bubonic plague and, in some cases, hemorrhagic fever. Breathing becomes difficult and the face, neck and groin swell up like the Michelin man. Swollen areas turn purple, then black. The victim discharges much mucus, often bloody, and shits dick nipples. Fever is extremely high, and delirium is common. The infected in this stage are immobilized in most—but not all—cases; as in the earlier stages, any caregiver will be infected unless he or she is immune. Death is usually caused by respiratory failure. At this point, there is a 0.1% survival rate.

    Progress of the Pandemic:

    In its first weekend, the swine flu swept through Mexico City, but no significant changes were noticed. The Mexican government then proceeded to shit adobe bricks and started a massive operation to control the disease. Needless to say the swine flu is now a worldwide concern and containment efforts in Mexico have largely been abandoned. It has been reported that within a minute of this information being released, Madagascar has closed its only port.

    In just a few days, swine-flu cases were spotted in half of western Europe, Russia, and New Zealand, with panics just about everywhere else, and within a week, nearly every country in the Americas has been infected. WMF slaves are covering the progress of the pandemic here and Wikipedophiles are maintaining a running tally of deaths and a list of infected nations.

    Mexicans are always illegally immigrating from Mexico to America, Japan, Canada, and just about anywhere else they can, so the CDCs have issued a warning for all Americans to avoid going to Home Depot.

    Future Prediction

    June 2009: Swine flu epidemic reaches its peak. 1/4 of the American population is dead. Civil unrest develops when an anonymous senior official leaks word that President Mulatto Jesus and other senior politicians caught the virus but received a “miracle vaccine” that was kept from the public.

    February 2010: America only remains a world power ‘cos of the nukes. The economy has collapsed and swine flu is still claiming hundreds each day. Radical constutionalist militias, disenfranchised blacks, and womyn dying for gay marriage get revolting. Half of the top brass of the U.S. military defects to join the “Citizen’s Republic of America” or CRA.

    May 2010: After a bloody civil war, the CRA takes control of Washington D.C. The president and many members of congress are executed live on TV in front of the White House. The CRA is seen as liberating the people from corrupt politicians and Washington elitism.

    December 2010: America has now become an isolationist country under the control of the CRA. Swine flu is going under due to “harsh but necessary preventative techniques”. America has also begun tapping into its own resources and has become fully self-sufficient.

    April 2011: Due to America’s isolationism, China’s economy collapses, taking most of the rest of the world down with it. China’s Communist Party begins plans to invade the U.S., as they believe the newly established CRA regime is weak.

    July 2011: China attacks Japan. Other nations attempt to help, but fail. America under the CRA does nothing. After the fall of Japan, Russia slips back under communist rule and realigns itself with China, which also shifts back to a commie path so that it can sap and impurify America’s precious bodily fluids.

    November 2011: Pakistan gave itself up to the Taliban, whose buddies smuggle three thermonuclear devices into Israel. All fail, but Israel sends nukes into every town and city it can hit in the rest of the world.

    Eve of Mayan world’s end, Dec. 21st 2012: At exactly 11:59 pm, China and Russia launch their remaining ICBMs at the CRA. The CRA responds by launching their remaining ICBMs. World War IV or V begins.

    December 22nd, 2012: Game over and the world is saved by some muppet that made it out of selection.

    Lest We Forget: The Stephen King Ending

    February 2013: Oh shit, Stephen King needed some money so it didn’t quite end, at least for America. OK, we buy it.

    Everywhere but the western parts of what was the USA is irrelevant. Some retard is still alive and wandering through a mid-western town. He meets a cowardly lion, a tin man, and the tin man’s loli, and they all lead him to an ole black woman who has the incredible mystical powers all black people have on account of being so close to nature and all.
    Some other guy is still alive. He is corrupted on the way to heaven in the Rocky Mountains by meeting Satan’s bride-to-be, who preserves her virginity for the antichrist by only letting him fuck her ass. The antichrist finally meets and impregnates his bride, magically kills the basement dweller, magically finds and arms some left-over nukes, but gets defeated by the retard who carries precious advice from the naturally mystical black lady. Can I throw up yet?

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