Over 75% of an average American’s exercise now comes from drunkenly dancing, stealing street signs, and carrying home passed-out friends.

Panelists discuss the many ways in which our educational system caters to students who try, care, are awake.

The former third party presidential candidate returns to helm ‘The Cressbeckler Stance’ and sound off on flannel-mouthed liars from Washington to Wall Street.

Movie-goers are flocking to buy advance tickets for the sequel, hoping to be among the first to see the rumored scene in which Paltrow gets…

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Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4%5D 8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest…

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaidaE1ZxrI%5D Americans say attending a 911 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong….

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRgRz3nSG7o%5D Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for…

[Youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX50whgnyN0%5D Jim and Tracy learn that in nations like Sierra Leone children as young as 12 are forced to smile, wave, and shake hands until…

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=M91dv1_QuuA%5D Taco Bell boasts zero environmental impact with their new menu which will rely solely on synthetic, lab-produced ingredients.

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMsLg4jqlJw%5D After gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson\’s trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive.

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yiQXPOO1Yo%5D Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you…

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADncN9HIa4%5D Girlfriends’ spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right…

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7mekhFTrXM%5D Hockey officials hope to attract fans and create a higher-scoring, fast-paced game with a new aerodynamic puck and artificial turf instead of ice.

Appointed by Bush in 2003 to distract from the horrors of war, Liberty\’s antics turned fatal yesterday when he cart-wheeled into a roadside bomb. [youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DI16OAkqug%5D

Long time fans of the Star Trek franchise say JJ Abrams’ enjoyable, engaging prequal betrays what Star Trek is all about. [youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=02LgdXVkXgM%5D

A new Department of Labor report finds personal outsourcing is revolutionizing how Americans don’t do their own work. [youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYaZ57Bn4pQ%5D

LOS ANGELES—In the largest deal ever made to shit out a movie, Warner Bros. and director Michael Bay announced a landmark $50 million agreement this…