Posted in Video

In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don’t Give A Shit?

Panelists discuss the many ways in which our educational system caters to students who try, care, are awake.

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

Joad Cressbeckler Is Back To Claim Rightful Title As Most Ornery Pundit Alive

The former third party presidential candidate returns to helm ‘The Cressbeckler Stance’ and sound off on flannel-mouthed liars from Washington to Wall Street.

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

Michael Bay Hoping to Blow Up Gulf of Mexico

Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood film director Michael Bay hopes he can convince officials to let him blow up the Gulf of Mexico. The recent…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

New “Illegal AZ/Cinco De Mayo” Machete Trailer

“They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!” Robert Rodriguez FTW. Watch as many of his films as you can!!! Damn good director. Viva la Mexico,…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

WASHINGTON—Citing a series of fatal malfunctions dating back to 1777, flag manufacturer Annin & Company announced Monday that it would be recalling all makes and…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

WASHINGTON—Citing a mutually shared vision of health care in America, congressional Republicans and the deadly bone-marrow cancer leukemia announced a joint effort Wednesday to repeal…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

Four Lions Movie Trailer

Video: Four Lions – Trailer Could there be a more hot-button topic than terrorism these days? Although it is historically the subject of serious documentaries…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

What a daft way to stop your spaniel eating the milkman | Jeremy Clarkson – Times Online

As we know, one man once got on one plane in a pair of exploding hiking boots and as a result everyone else in the…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

Stephen Colbert: ‘Sarah Palin Is a F–King Retard’

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

The ONN: Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen

Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

The ONN: Today Now! Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDWo6m5hbG4%5D 8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

The BEAST: America’s Best Fiend

As the debate continues to rage on over whether or not the U.S. should include a public, government-funded plan in its healthcare reform, many citizens…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

The ONN: Americans Observing 911 By Trying Not To Masturbate

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaidaE1ZxrI%5D Americans say attending a 911 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong….

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

The Onion: Next Tarantino Movie An Homage To Beloved Tarantino Movies Of Director’s Youth

MADRID—While attending a European press junket Monday for his film Inglourious Basterds, director Quentin Tarantino announced that his next project, Jack Rabbit Slim, will go…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

The ONN: In The Know: Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOHjMwPTCXQ%5D In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur’s sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded valuable intelligence. First…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

ONN: U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

[YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRgRz3nSG7o%5D Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

The Ballad of G.I. Joe

It\’s beyond my limited competence to embed this here. Have a raw link instead: www.funnyordie.com/videos/076041c13b/the-ballad-of-g-i-joe

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

ONN: Today Now: Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa

[Youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX50whgnyN0%5D Jim and Tracy learn that in nations like Sierra Leone children as young as 12 are forced to smile, wave, and shake hands until…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

ONN: Today Now! Taco Bell\’s New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=M91dv1_QuuA%5D Taco Bell boasts zero environmental impact with their new menu which will rely solely on synthetic, lab-produced ingredients.

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

ONN: Today Now! Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMsLg4jqlJw%5D After gym doctors confirmed the injuries were career-ending, Johnson\’s trainers said there was no reason to keep her alive.

Continue Reading...
Posted in Video

ONN – Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yiQXPOO1Yo%5D Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts Video

ONN: Nation’s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: ‘Let’s Move In Together’

[youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ADncN9HIa4%5D Girlfriends’ spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right…

Continue Reading...
Posted in Posts

ONN: Ambassador Stages UN Coup, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions

Uganda\’s Ambassador is threatening to abolish the Committee on Conferences and author the draft calendar of conferences and meetings himself. [youtube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPfVkuPmpc8%5D

Continue Reading...